Alyssa's Baby Registry

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"When do parents change the most baby diapers? In the wee wee hours!"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Have you heard of the pregnant bed bug? She’s going to have her baby in the spring."

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"How did Batman decorate baby Robin’s crib? With a bat mobile."

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Mrs. Goat: “Honey, we’re going to have a baby!” Mr. Goat: “You’re kidding.”"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn’t have teddy bears. You know why? He had real bears"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Mom: “Why is there a strange baby in the crib?” Dad: “You told me to change the baby.”"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Why did the baby sleep with his eyes half open? Because he was keeping a close eye on his dreams!"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"“Sleep-deprived parents: because dark circles under your eyes are the new fashion statement.”"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers. “I’m busy,” he said, “I’ll do the next one.” The next time came around and she asked again. The husband looked puzzled, “Oh! I didn’t mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby!”"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Why did the baby cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer (away for) so long!"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"One day, shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands, so the proud father stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of, but the baby just wouldn’t stop crying. Finally, the dad got so worried he decided to take the infant to the doctor. After the doctor listened to all the father had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby’s ears, chest and then down to the diaper area. When he opened the diaper, he found was indeed full. “Here’s the problem,” the doctor explained. “He just needs to be changed.” The perplexed father remarked, “But the diaper package specifically says it’s good for up to 10 pounds!”"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"What did the fire say to her husband after their son’s birth? “Honey… this is Arson”"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Diaper changing is an art form, and I’m the Picasso of poop!"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Chicco car seat adapter"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Why did the baby tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Where do baby cats learn to swim? The kitty pool"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, ” my wife was reading a “Tale of Two Cities” and she gave birth to twins.” “That?s funny”, the second man remarked, “my wife was reading ‘the Three Musketeers’ and she gave birth to triplets.” The third man shouted, “Good God, I have to rush home!” When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, “When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali baba and the Forty Thieves!!!”"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Why did the man bring his pregnant wife a small lizard? She told him to pick up a baby monitor"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Little Johnny’s new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, “Where’d we get him?” His mother replied, “He came from heaven, Johnny.” Johnny exclaimed, “Wow… I can see why they threw him out!”"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"How did Batman decorate baby Robin’s crib? With a bat mobile"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Why was the baby ant confused? Because all his uncles were ants!"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby. The child did so, the mother pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted the new born baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath. “Well, hit him again,” the child said. “He shouldn’t have crawled up there in the first place!”."

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Tell me, does the stork deliver babies with their diapers on? No, they’re stork naked!"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"What did the buffalo say to his baby boy when paternity leave was over? “Bison!”"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Did you hear about the baby born in a high-tech hospital? It came out cordless"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Midnight Blue"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Color- Midnight Blue. I think the hospital accidentally switched our babies at birth… They’re identical twins, so it’s hard to be sure"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"How can you tell the gender of a baby? If he cries it’s a boy If she cries, it’s a girl"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Medium size please Do you know what a baby computer calls his old man? Data!"