Alyssa's Baby Registry

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers. “I’m busy,” he said, “I’ll do the next one.” The next time came around and she asked again. The husband looked puzzled, “Oh! I didn’t mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby!”"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Why did the baby cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer (away for) so long!"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"One day, shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands, so the proud father stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of, but the baby just wouldn’t stop crying. Finally, the dad got so worried he decided to take the infant to the doctor. After the doctor listened to all the father had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby’s ears, chest and then down to the diaper area. When he opened the diaper, he found was indeed full. “Here’s the problem,” the doctor explained. “He just needs to be changed.” The perplexed father remarked, “But the diaper package specifically says it’s good for up to 10 pounds!”"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"What did the fire say to her husband after their son’s birth? “Honey… this is Arson”"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"Any size. When do parents change the most baby diapers? In the wee wee hours!"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"What do you call a cow that had a baby? De-calf-inated"

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"How did the baby tell her mom she had a wet diaper? She sent her a pee-mail."

Note from Alyssa and Matthew:

"A friend asked me if she should have a baby after 40. I said no, 40 babies are enough"